So I’ve learned over the past year that everyone is different. Some people are very open about their life and talk about whatever freely. There are others who don’t talk about their life at all except for a few things. I met someone about a year ago who was like this. We connected pretty quickly and I enjoyed being around this person, but it was hard to learn things about this individual because they never wanted to open about themselves or their life. That was probably the first time this had happened to me. It was weird. Different. Hard. But I still enjoyed being around them.
Then this year I reconnected with a friend from college who actually opened up to me about stuff. Not because I asked, but because the timing was right and we were talking about certain things in life. He felt comfortable enough to tell me certain things about himself that were difficult to maybe talk about. I’ve learned to appreciate those moments when people open up and are more vulnerable. It means a lot. It doesn’t happen often, so learn to appreciate them.
However, opening up can be hard. Sometimes you set yourself up for rejection. You open up about your past and someone can harshly judge you and turn you away. Or you can open up to someone about you are frustrated with something that they did or are doing and they may get angry at you. Or you can open up about your feelings (in regards to romance, dating, love, whatever you want to call it) to someone and get turned down. (This has most definitely happened to me… which is why I don’t usually do it). All of these are some negative results to opening up to someone. Many of which I’ve experienced multiple times.
But there can be good things that come from opening up. I’ve recently learned that sometimes opening up can actually help a lot. One time I told this friend of mine some struggles and she was so supportive and she would always check on me and turns out she herself had been through it. So, sometimes when we open up we find out that we are not the only ones who feel that way and people can actually help us because they understand some of what we feel. Sometimes we open up about feelings for someone (in the romantic type) and turns out they feel the same way. These are good things!
I feel I go through phases where I open up about stuff, and then I distance myself from everyone. Does anyone else do that? Ugh. I don’t know why. It’s like I open up to someone and then I’m like why did I do that? And I start thinking of all these things and I get nervous or whatever and I back away. The results though are that then people think something is wrong or they did something.
I want someone to lean on. Someone to express all my feelings to. To talk about my day. Someone to just listen as I vent about my problems. Someone to keep me motivated. To keep me positive. To make me smile. To make me happy when I am having a difficult time. Someone who wants to express their problems and difficulties to me. Someone to tell me about the good things that happened to them. Someone that will be there so we can work on becoming better together. All of this requires opening up. And one day I will meet someone who will become my best friend who will then be able to do this with me. Someone who knows my flaws and weaknesses and still loves me.
My friend once told me:
“you can never say the wrong thing to the right person”.
So one day I will be able to open up completely to someone and they won’t run off because of my weaknesses or shortcomings. I guess this gives me some comfort. Sometimes I feel anxious or worried about the things I say to people (aka guys), but the right one will laugh at the stupid things I say instead of rolling their eyes. The right one will understand I’m not perfect and that I make mistakes just like him.
Overall, what I am getting at is that opening up to someone can be personal and hard yet good. It helps you connect to people. I don’t mean you need to tell all your darkest secrets because even I haven’t done that, but I do mean that when you find that someone where you can share those things with…treasure them. Because they are someone truly special.
Here’s to thinking about that day when that special someone comes along! ❤️❤️