So this week was such a hard week for me. I don’t really want to go into it because it is so personal, but things have been so hard lately (emotionally). While at church today I was overcome with a lot of emotions. I was upset with things that have been going on, I was feeling unhappy and lost and alone. I felt like I didn’t belong there. In my church we meet at different times so that we can fit everyone into the building. So i normally go to the 1:00pm meeting. For some reason as I was sitting there overwhelmed and emotional, I just felt like I didn’t belong. I feel like I don’t have friends here. I feel like there is nobody I can really talk to. Yeah I know people here, but there’s a difference between knowing and being acquainted with someone and really knowing and being close to someone.
I know I need to be better at opening up to God every day. I have maybe one day a week where I feel I really open up, but I should be doing that everyday. I should be praying with real intent and with a real purpose every time. Not just when I struggle.
The problem I find is that I feel I want to meet more people and gain new friends but at the same time I hate putting myself out there to meet people. So I know the reason I don’t meet people is because of myself.
I was talking to someone yesterday who said:
Our Heavenly Father doesn’t like it when one of his children talks bad about themselves. We have great potential.
This was such a great message, especially coming from someone who has only been a member of the church for a few years.
We shouldn’t talk bad about ourselves, even though I do it all the time. It is definitely something I need to work on for sure. I am pretty hard on myself when I mess up or when I can’t do something.
The Savior’s healing touch can transform lives in our day just as it did in His. If we will but have faith, He can take our hands, fill our souls with heavenly light and healing, and speak to us the blessed words, “Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf
So I want to remind you to talk good about yourself. I used to have a paper on my mirror that said “you are beautiful” when I was up at school and that was a good reminder to say something good and positive to myself everyday.
Love yourself because God loves you.
There’s a great talk by President Uchtdorf (where I got this quote from) that I encourage you to read. It’s about light and darkness. Really good! Click on the link below to read it.