Friendships

If you haven’t noticed already, I am doing a series of blog posts in regards to the personality test I took. It is called 16 Personalities, so I suggest you take it! And if you haven’t read my other posts in regards to my personality, please go read them. They are titled Getting to Know Your Blogger and Relationships.

Friendships

Given how generous Defenders are with their warm praise and support, it’s not surprising that others enjoy their company enough to call them friends. The challenge is to be considered a friend back – people with the Defender personality type are shy and a little protective of themselves, but they also need to be able to connect on a deeper emotional level. It makes sense then that most of Defenders’ friends are made not by random encounters on a wild night out, but through comfortable and consistent contact, as in class or in the workplace where they have the time to get to know each other little by little.

This is true. I become friends with those who I feel comfortable with and with whom I have consistent contact. I agree 100% with the first part of the paragraph. As I have explained in my other posts, I often tend to be more giving than some people. So I will consider people a friend and do lots of things for them, but seldom get anything in return. I agree that I need to connect on a deep emotional level. I don’t know why, but I just do.

  • Defenders need a lot of positive feedback
    • I don’t take criticism very well. So if someone is going to criticize me, I need it to be someone I like and appreciate. And they need to do it in a way that not too harsh. And I think because I don’t have high self esteem, positive feedback is nice to hear. Especially because I try to please other people.

 

  • As their friendships develop, Defenders’ sense of loyalty may push them to lean ever more on themselves to meet their friends’ needs, to the point of neglecting their own.
    • When I have a friend that I really care about, I do go out of my way to do anything for them. I try to be more aware of their needs. I know for me, it helps to focus on others rather than myself.

 

  • The real friends, those close inner circles, are the ones Defenders truly cherish for their quality of character and quality of discussion. Defenders aren’t particularly picky about what personality types they make friends with, at least not initially, but because they prefer so strongly to avoid conflict and miscommunication, most of their friends are likely to end up being fairly similar personalities.
    • Yeah I would say I don’t have a ton of friends, but the ones I do are important to me. I guess I agree that I am not too picky in the beginning. I do think that after some time, I do tend to pull away or leave certain friends for certain reasons. So maybe it is because of this.

How does your personality influence your friendships?

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