Okay, so if you haven’t read my first post about my personality test that I took, I suggest you go read it! Getting to Know your Blogger is the title of the post. And the blogger is of course, the one and only, ME!

Just to remind you all, my personality came back as defender. So for this post I wanted to explain what that means when it comes to relationships according to my results.

  • Our joy is found in taking care of the family and home, and being there for emotional and practical support
    • (I don’t have a family of my own yet, but I can see this happening. I do care about the family I come from and so this makes sense. It is something that I long for).


  • We are most attractive when we are simply being ourselves in a comfortable environment
    • (I feel this is something for everyone. We are all attractive when we act like ourselves and are in an environment that we feel comfortable in. It can be hard for me to be myself when I am around crowds and new places).


  • We take dating seriously and only enter into relationships that have a real chance of lasting a lifetime
    • (yeah, there have been many relationships that I have turned down …)


  • Defenders’ shyness and sensitivity shield what are, beneath the surface, incredibly strong feelings. While not always obvious to others, this river of emotion can’t be taken lightly or for granted – Defender personalities can value the idea of committed romance almost as highly as some regard religious beliefs
    • (I feel this goes hand in hand with the one above. I do tend to have strong feelings and when they develop, they are serious. I laugh, but in a way yeah I do see a relationship as a pretty serious thing like a religion).


  • We take no greater joy than in pleasing others, often even considering this a personal duty
    • (100% yes).


  • Intimacy is important
    • (yes – I love hand holding, back scratches, arm touches, hugs, etc).


  • Defenders spend an enormous amount of time and energy finding ways to keep their relationship satisfying for their partners. All they ask in return is commitment, love and, perhaps most of all, appreciation.
    • (yes. I feel that I always go above and beyond, even with friendships. Even if they don’t appreciate it as much. I remember one time I made this legit cake for a friend that had kit Kat’s all around it, candy, ribbons, etc. I made a pop up card, and a candy tower. I was impressed with myself haha! It was fun for me. But, I felt they didn’t appreciate it as much, which can sometimes be hard. So, appreciation is a biggie for me).


  • If their partners aren’t willing or able to express this thanks, or worse still are openly critical of their Defender partners, they will find that, given time and pressure, all of those repressed emotions can burst forth in massive verbal attacks that all the future regret in the world won’t blunt.
    • (ha! Yeah, I can see this happening. I already explained earlier that I will keep emotions in until they explode so…watch out!)


  • Defenders’ true passions lie in taking care of their families, from playing with their children to the mundane needs of the household. Defenders are only too happy to contribute.


  • Defenders are trustworthy, loyal, loving and faithful and nothing brings them more joy than the commitment of an appreciative and thriving relationship. The best matches are those who share these sensibilities, namely those who share the Observant (S) trait, with one or two opposing traits to ensure that both partners have room to grow, develop and help each other along, ’til the end of their days.
    • (Did you hear that? I match best with those who are also observant … any guys out there with that? haha! I do like that it says I need someone with 1 or 2 opposing traits to help me grow. I think we need to be a bit different to help each other progress and learn in life.)

I thought this was really cool. Just like the love language test, I think it is important to know these things, especially in the person you are dating because it helps to understand them better. It helps to understand why they react a certain way, why they do certain things, and how they love.

What is your personality like when it comes to relationships?



2 thoughts on “Relationships

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