How To …

Okay everyone, I have a question for you.

How do you become comfortable and accepting of yourself?

Like this is a legit question I am asking. Or are you, like me, not comfortable or accepting of who you are?

You guys all know that I have struggled with my weight pretty much my whole life. And it stinks.

For those who have been following me for a few months know that I was able to lose a little weight by using weight watchers.

However, I have gained it back … PLUS more. This is an all new high for me and it kind of scares me.

Like I never ever thought I would be this much. I look back at pictures of me when I was in high school and even college and I think WOW! I looked good! Like yeah, I wasn’t skinny skinny, but I looked good! But in the moment I felt huge, disgusting, and fat.

I wish I looked like that again.

The problem though … is that so far it hasn’t scared me enough to do anything TOO drastic to change it.

Like what do I need to do to actually change?

First of all, I know I need to lose weight to just be in the healthy weight range. So, how can I learn to accept me as I am, but also have the strength to change?

Like I want to learn to love my body as it now, but also work towards having a better body.

The problem is the work.

Getting fit is so much work. 

For me.

I know that for some of you, going to the gym every day is a no brainer. That eating healthy is natural to you. But for me … IT ISN’T.

I LOVE food. All kinds of food.

And I hate any kind of exercise.

Here is the other problem … you might be saying, well just go to the gym. Take it slow and do easy exercises. The problem is that I am so self conscious about my weight and my body that I don’t even want to show my face in the gym. I would worry about people staring and looking at me.

I am afraid of people judging me.

I am letting others keep me from achieving something I want.

I am letting myself keep me away from achieving something I want.

How do you stop that?

How do you learn to block everyone else out and only focus on your own thoughts?

Any ideas? 

What I really need is a personal fitness and health trainer. I need to go to some camp for like a few weeks or something where all we do is exercise and eat healthy haha. Like all those different shows they have. I would hate it, but it would do something.

What’s crazy is that gaining weight is sooooo easy.

But losing it takes like five times longer! You have to do so much more work.

And because losing weight takes A LOT of time … like in order to lose a lot of weight, you need to have patience because it takes months to accomplish.

I often get tired of it and quit.

So, I want to change my mindset about how I feel right now. But I also want to change.

It’s kind of interesting how much we complain about something, yet never do anything about it.

I know I am not the only one! haha.

I am going to be starting a part time job by the way! Monday is my first day. I will just be helping out my cousin for 4 hours a day from 2-6 so she can run some errands and have help with the kids.

But … that also means I will have up until about 1pm to work out. So … maybe I can motivate myself to work out a little before work each day. Maybe. haha.

I think I just need to get back on weight watchers again and see what happens yet again. I had a blog for that when I was losing weight. Maybe I will need to start updating that again as well. My weight loss blog is titled Here’s To a New Me. My last post was in March. So I will update it right now with my new info.

Thank you everyone for being so supportive!!! I appreciate it!

Do you have any insecurities? Do you let them get in the way of doing things? How do you overcome them? Comment below.

Love,

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9 thoughts on “How To …

  1. Jason Morgan says:

    Kaitlin,
    I admire your ability to be so open. I’ve got to say that you definitely aren’t alone. I have pretty bad social anxiety from being bullied all throughout my school years for being overweight. That keeps me from doing so many things in my life. I am working on it and it is getting better though. Going to the gym is still something I struggle with for the same reasons as you. I’m afraid that people are going to stare or think mean things about me because of my size. It’s a hard thing to deal with but not impossible to overcome. Anyway, I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone. Also to say that if you get a gym membership for Crunch fitness or already have one then maybe we can go to the gym together if you want to. I know having someone with me helps me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kaitlin Chase says:

      Thanks Jason. Yeah It’s kind of scary opening up about stuff like this. Yes, I had some mean comments growing up, and then of course I am my own worst critic. This morning I did some Zumba at home haha, so that was good. I at least got something in. If I do get get a membership I will let you know 🙂 Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in this

      Like

  2. Claire DeWilde says:

    I think it would be scary to be as candid as you are on your blog! Just by writing this, you’re braver than most.

    People at the gym are focused on their own progress. If they look at you at all, they’ll only see a woman on a mission! Worst case: someone thinks something negative of you, for whatever reason. What should you care? You’ll never see them again, and they’ll forget about you in 5 minutes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kaitlin Chase says:

      Haha you are so right. I think most of it is in my head. I assume that people think a certain way when I’m sure most of them don’t care or notice. And I really shouldn’t care. It’s true 🙂

      Like

  3. Hunida says:

    If you are embarrassed to go to the gym (which you shouldn’t be but I totally understand) you could do YouTube workouts at home on a yoga mat. They are really quite effective. I recommend watching Rebecca Louise on XHIT channel.

    I know it’s easier said then done but you have to love yourself! Everyone has insecurities & they’re too busy thinking about theirs to think about you. Everything is easier if you realize that people aren’t talking about you or even thinking about you because everyone has as many things going on in their brain as you do. How much thought do YOU give a stranger?

    Confidence is something you have to find in yourself. You are beautiful the way you are & you should know that but if losing weight will help you remember, then you gotta start slow. Maybe do a 10-20 minute workout and cut ONE bad thing out of your diet like high fructose corn syrup. Once you start seeing results, you’ll want to keep going!!! Best of luck on your weight loss, you can do it! ♡

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Arsenio Franklin says:

    First, when it comes to exercise it needs to be something you enjoy. Basketball, running and yoga do it for me. I HATE the gym, and it took me a while to find what worked for me. Second, remember the negative emotions you felt toward your body in high school and college. It’s always worse in the moment. Hopefully you’ll look back on the present with fondness too. Hope this helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kaitlin Chase says:

      Thank you so much Arsenio. It’s true I should find something I actually enjoy because then I will want to do it. Yeah, those are some really good points. Thank you! I really appreciate your feedback. I’m getting better, it just takes time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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