Can you guess what I am going to be discussing today?
Yep, you guessed it. Honesty.
A topic that has been coming up many times lately in my life. Something that has been very annoying – because people just aren’t doing it. Sometimes I feel like I am pulling teeth.
Now, I am not suggesting that you have to tell the truth all the time. I understand that sometimes we do things because we don’t want to hurt the other person. For example, “Do I look fat in this dress?”. The response may be no, when really they are thinking yes.
But I also feel that there is a way where you can tell the truth, while still being nice about it. It doesn’t mean it won’t hurt, but it can help soften the blow.
For example, if you really do think the dress makes her look fat, you could say something like, “That dress is nice, but I think the blue dress looks even better” or “That dress is very pretty, but I think the red dress brings out your eyes” or even “That dress is nice, but I like how the other dress shows off your waist”.
Okay, now that being said let me tell you some problems I have been having in regards to honesty.
It has to do with my love life – which like always is NON-EXISTENT. Feel free to cry for me haha.
Do you remember my post about that one guy I asked out awhile ago who told me that it would be fun, but that he was pretty busy to go out? If not, click here to read about that incident.
Well since his response, I have seen him post on facebook and instagram all these adventures he has been going on. Birthday parties, motorcycle rides, going out with friends, etc.
So what? What is the big deal Kaitlin?
Let me tell you. It hurts. He tells me he is too busy to go out with me, yet behind my back (or should I say in front of my face) he is out doing lots of things. So I guess he wasn’t too busy to go out. If he didn’t want to go out with me, he should have just said so. Yeah, it would have sucked, but at least it would have been the truth. Having someone say they are too busy but then you see them doing something else …. that hurts way more.
What is wrong with people? Why can’t you just be honest?
I get that maybe he was thinking this way he wouldn’t hurt me by saying no, but all it did was do more harm than anything. If he had just said no, I would have been sad but I would have moved on.
Okay, so now fast forward to present day. I have been talking to this guy for a month. Someone that I found on a dating site. He lives out of state. In Utah actually. We weren’t a couple but we talked on the phone a bit, and texted. I know that doing long distance is really hard. And it doesn’t work for everyone.
Well we had been talking about me going to visit him this month (in fact it was going to be this coming week). Well I started noticing a change in him. He wasn’t being as flirty and then I hadn’t heard from him for a few days.
Well on my dating profile I had made it clear that I was done with the single life and the games people play. That is actually why he messaged me first because he also felt the same.
So today I texted him being bold and beautiful like I talked about in my post before.
I reminded him that I wasn’t here to play games. I told him I needed an answer as to what he wanted. Whether he wanted to keep getting to know me, be friends or not talk at all. But that whichever one it was I needed to know because I kept getting mixed messages from him.
And lo and behold after 3 days of no responses from him he actually texted me back. Within 20 minutes too! I was shocked! So he was alive.
His answer still didn’t completely answer my question. He basically said he was sorry for not answering before, and that he had been thinking a lot. That I am a great person, but that he also realized that being so far away isn’t as easy for him as he thought.
Okay … so I responded back explaining that I understood what he meant. That it was hard for me too, but that I was the one that was willing to go visit him so we could see how it was face to face but that if he doesn’t want it anymore, that was fine. I just needed to know.
For once I want a guy to tell me! Stop beating around the bush. Stop getting me to be the one to say it. Just say, sorry this isn’t going to work OR while it is hard, I want to keep trying.
I am soooooo done with all these crazy guys. Guys who want inappropriate things. Guys who just want hookups. Guys who are not wanting anything serious. Guys who can’t just tell you yes they are interested and want to go out, or no I am not interested. Where are all the good guys hiding? I mean seriously?!
I just turned 25 and it is amazing how hard it is to find a good and reliable guy who is also into me.
I’m not necessarily complaining that I am single. I have actually been doing a lot of traveling lately which has been great! I am complaining about the guys in my life right now and the ones that keep coming up. I guess I will probably feel that way until the right one comes along.
Have you ever had an incident like this? Where someone just couldn’t be honest with you about something?? Let me know!
I love you guys and apologize for not writing in a long time.